Should Hannah Tinti Fly First Class?
You may have blown your $500 on a needlessly expensive dinner or a high-class whore. But why stop there? For the same price, Edward Champion will happily take your money, bombarding you with speculations, conspiracy theories, and other pieces of information that you are too lazy to research or look up on your own. The one hour talk will include a Powerpoint presentation that rivals Al Gore’s. It will analyze Ms. Tinti’s travel patterns over the last five years, the pros and cons of coach and business class, the problems that Ms. Tinti has experienced when sleeping on red eye flights, her continued efforts to secure a comfortable middle-class lifestyle, and her unwavering commitment to taking money from naive students. It will demonstrate how you too can begin a career in which you exploit the impoverished. We are crafting a unique experience, both practical and creative, for anyone who hopes to ensure that Ms. Tinti continues to travel around the world in wanton luxury. We will also be
