My child only melts down at home; s/he is fine at school. Isn’t that proof that s/he can control it?
This can be very confusing for parents who are struggling to move away from motivational explanations for their child’s behavior. It is often helpful for them to realize that even though their child may not be melting down at school that does not mean that the child is actually dealing effectively with his/her frustrations at school. They may simply be storing them up. In fact, many of these parents will report that their child explodes the moment they come through the door. While initially these outbursts may appear related to something at home, with investigation they are usually found to be related to frustrations that occurred during the school day or the result of a small frustration that just puts the child over the top after having dealt with numerous frustrations all day long.
