Is there a typical emotional process that a person with a terminal illness goes through?
Numerous theories about grief and the experience of grieving have been developed and published. Having a clearer understanding of a process can make it seem less intimidating and can even give us a sense that we are more in control of it. But dying is not a science. Don’t assume that your loved one with a terminal illness is going to go through a methodical process of coming to terms with death, such as denial, anger, and so on. It may not happen that way. Sometimes well-meaning people try to push the one with a terminal illness through these stages of death and dying. That’s not helpful. Many theories on grief include the notion of acceptance as the most desirable outcome of a grief process. A better description might be accommodation — learning to live as fully as possible, while accommodating to the presence of this terminal illness in your life. But do you have to accept that you have a terminal illness? Do you have to accept that you’re going to die before you thought you would? N
