Is reality only a product of the mind, or is it real. How do you define real?
You are right. Reality is the product of the mind. We cannot grasp anything that is outside of ourselves. And what we perceive as reality is highly dependent on our qualities. What is outside of ourselves is just a perfectly still, homogeneous force-field, and from this force-field we are creating the picture of the world according to our qualities. But the force-field contains some basic overall qualities, which best describes “it”, and the closer we get in our qualities to those basic qualities the closer we get to the “absolute truth” of reality. So all we need to do is to study ourselves, get to know our own real qualities, and then study the “force-field” and then adjust ourselves accordingly. I hope it helps your dilemma, all the best.