Is putting up a child for adoption giving or selfish?
It can be both. I do not believe “selfish” is always a bad thing, even though it seems to be a definitively negative quality for some reason. Putting a child up for adoption is ultimately admitting that you would not be a suitable parent. Sometimes, it’s better for a bad parent to leave than to stay.
in the case of a baby, it is giving, the woman could have chosen to have an abortion, that would have been selfish, but she carried the baby to term so she could give it to someone who wanted a child and couldnt concieve one. in the case of a kid (older than newborn) it just depends on the reason behind it, sometimes people do it because they arent fit to take care of the child, but sometimes they do it because they are tired of being a parent…
I think it’s a bit of both – but altogether it’s a good thing. It’s selfish because the pregnant mother (& father) get to continue their lives as they were before. They don’t have to be “bothered” by having to raise the child. They can keep their original plans and goals, and not have to cater to the child. It’s giving because somebody out there wants to have a child, but can’t. They will get to have this child. The child will get to have a loving parent – who WANTED to have them – instead of someone who got pregnant and didn’t want them.
Giving! Instead of choosing the selfish route and killing the child, you would be choosing to let someone who desperately wants a child have one. On top of that, as it would be apparent by wanting to give the child up in the first place, would be more selfish to keep a child you don’t want. Hell, my wife and I have been trying for years. We have medical reasons that we have alot of trouble trying to conceive. I would gladly adopt a baby! I was adopted myself, and I consider that a great gift from my biological parents. Hell, I am alive, and wasn’t aborted!
Depends on the reasons: My ex had a child when she was 17, and gave it up. She had school to finish (college) and knew she wouldn’t be able to give the child the life it deserved. Every year, around the child’s BD, she got depressed, wondering where he was and how he was doing. NOTE: I DO believe that many women in this situation feel guilt and remorse for having done so, though they know/hope the child is in a better place and/or provided for better than they could have. It could be argued that she was being selfish, so she could finish school, but I don’t believe that at all. I believe what I described above. HOWEVER, those who have resources and time, and give up a child for adoption because it will “cramp their style”, or they can’t handle children, are doing so out of selfishness. NOTE: I would prefer they did that than murder the child after it’s born.
