I need to fall in love again with my husband again. Help?
You need his help. You don’t say how much he helps you. I’m assuming you need help though. You need for him to appreciate you and all the hard work you do to help you get that feeling back. What I have found is that when I show my love and appreciation for my wife by doing things for her she is happier. Her behavior toward me then makes me want to make her a bigger priority in my life. It is a positive upward cycle.
You need to have a talk with him and tell him how much you want to rekindle the way you felt when you first met. Tell him you need his support. The spice in marriage comes from novelty and unexpectedness mixed with the memories of the way you felt when you were falling in love. Often when you talk about memories of things you did and said you start feeling the same things again. I recently reunited with a guy I had been in love with years ago. At first I didn’t feel a thing, but the more he talked about things we used to do and the memories he had of our time together the more I actually felt those things again. In a few months I was head over heels in love with him again, and no one was more shocked than I was. You can get back those feelings, but it does take effort and work.
Yes. There is 1 answer that will work and it probably scares the hell out of you. Quit your job. I’ll say it again. Quit your job. Rewrite your budget, give up some expenses, focus on saving money, stay at home, and take care of your children. I know people with five children who live on 1 income. It’s hard, but it’s worth it. Right now, you don’t have the capacity to love your husband, or your children. You’re worked to death. You’re carrying all that stress around in you. And it’s making you hate your family for rejecting your professional effort (unwanted) and desiring you to be a loving, warm, generous mother and wife (very much wanted). I’ll bet everyday, you come home, and the house is a mess. The dinner needs to be cooked or bought. You don’t get much sleep. You don’t get to spend time with your kids. And as they grow up, they’re going to doubt that Mommy has time and love for them. You want to know where rogue males come from? That’s pretty much it. So, cut back your hours, go
Does he want to make it work as well? Committment is the key to making it work again. You need to get to middle points and committ, you need to make promises of change and committ and you need to spend time with each other and committ. You need to get to know your husband all over again right now as a grown man, not like when you met him so many years ago, and he needs to do the same with you. You first need to talk about all those issues, those differences and find solutions. Once you start on that and see on each other the change, you might feel something again. But you both need to be honest and have the will to want to work things out and have the patience because it will be a long process.
