How well have the characters in the new GI Joe movie fared with critics?”
Orphan is out 7 August, with a poster proclaiming “You’ll never guess her secret” alongside a suitably threatening image of dear little Esther, the film’s titular orphan with something to hide. Orphan joins a grand tradition of films with a twist in the tale, whether it’s a sexual shocker, murdered mother, kinky pagan religious rite or a dead Bruce Willis. Spoiler-averse readers go no further, especially if you haven’t had the pleasure of seeing The Wicker Man, Psycho, The Crying Game and Planet Of The Apes, because Catherine Bray is about to have a gander at four classic oh-my-god moments Robin Hardy’s The Wicker Man (please do ignore the benighted remake starring Nicolas Cage and altogether too many bees) isn’t your traditional twist movie. There’s no split second wham-bam reveal, a la Psycho; instead we’re treated to a gradual realisation that our assumptions are about to be seismically up-ended. Edward Woodward’s Sergeant Howie’s quest to either save the life, or avenge the death,
Per the Hollywood Reporter and other outlets, the weekend’s big movie isn’t screening for critics. While this isn’t a surprise to the critics themselves — we were informed about this over a week ago — it is an unusual step for a studio to take when they’ve got a $175 million tentpole ready to unveil. Is “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” really that bad? And does it matter? Yes and no. Paramount spokespeople are saying they want to protect their new action extravaganza from the kind of nuclear reviews “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” received. “We want audiences to define this film,” in the words of studio vice chairman Rob Moore. Who is he kidding? “Transformers: ROTF” is the definition of “critic proof.” The slings and arrows of the reviewing community gave bloggers a few days of link-worthy schadenfreude, but the movie itself has rolled up almost $400 million in the US alone and is currently at No. 9 on the all-time box office list. “G.I. Joe” should be as unlucky. The difference
