How many affairs survive as enduring relationships?
Dr. G: Only 10% of people who leave their relationship for affairs end up with the affair partner. Once you can be with the person every day, and deal with all the little irritations in a relationship that makes it less romantic, you’re into Stage Two—disillusionment. Several people have told me they wish the affair had never happened; they wish they had worked on their marriage instead. Once they got into an affair, it was too compelling. But now that the affair has settled into a reality based relationship, it’s too late to go back to the marriage; they destroyed too much. Q: Can all relationships be fixed after an affair? Dr. G: No. What I look for is how the unfaithful partner shows empathy for the pain that they have caused when the betrayed spouse starts acting crazy. Q: In what way do they act crazy? Dr. G. They’re very emotional. They cry easily, their emotions flip-flop. They are hyper-vigilant. They want to look at the beeper. They have flashbacks. In the car they hear a coun
