How does regulation/dysregulation affect attachment?
A. Just like a valve on a propane tank is designed to let out only a specific amount of gas at a given moment, humans have emotional regulators that help us control ourselves during times of stress. In children with attachment challenges, these regulators are either faulty or missing entirely; thus they are less likely to be able to handle any amount of stress in their environment, including the normal stress experienced within relationships. Therefore, it is imperative that parents learn to remain regulated during times of stress within the parent/child relationship. Because it is through the parents’ ability to model self-regulation, that our children will learn it for themselves. The good news is that regulation can be taught at any stage in life and from that time on can function as required.
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