How Do You Tell Someone That Something They Said Offended You Without Being Offensive Yourself?
• Pull the person aside. When in any group, large or small, the recipient of your message will have face to lose, which will likely make him extra defensive. • Ask if it is a good time to talk for a few minutes. Remember that the both of you have your own priorities; respecting each other’s time will make the discussion much more productive because you will both be ready to talk as opposed to being in a hurry or otherwise distracted. • Speak calmly. If you feel physically upset, on the brink of tears, or angry enough to be physically violent, excuse yourself from the situation and calm down before addressing the comment. • Do not paraphrase. If it was something they said, be sure to tell them exactly what it was they said. If you say something along the lines of “I think its horrible you want people to murder babies” in response to a statement like “I think rape victims should have the option to abort a pregnancy”, you are going to make yourself appear as if you don’t listen and make t
