How do you talk about morals and values to kids who have decided to be sexually active?
For so long, we’ve looked at kids who are sexually active and said, “They are immoral” or “They don’t share our values.” I actually believe that teens learn morals and values best by first watching ours, and second by discussion. They don’t learn by having somebody like me lecture them. They learn by participating in a discussion where they are pushed to define their own particular morals. That’s why parents need to be willing to talk about it. In this country, the perception is that these [values] are just adopted lock, stock and barrel from an older generation. That is not how morals and values are learned. In fact, quite the contrary occurs: Kids don’t listen to that type of format and they lie about what they are doing — they go behind their parents’ backs. Many of the boys in the Guttmacher study seemed to be participating in activities that adults are uncomfortable talking about. Adults have a hard enough time talking to kids about vaginal intercourse. When it comes to oral sex,
