How do you respectfully decline a funeral invite using proper etiquette?
Hrm… well, a funeral is a public event to which invitations are not issued. The funeral is announced, and anyone can come pay their respects. So for your friend to “invite” you to the funeral is odd. However, you may politely respond with a written letter that expresses your deepest sympathy for your friend and the family. You do not need to go to the funeral nor do you need to tell them you won’t be coming. The most polite thing to do is pretend that the “invitation” was simply an announcement of the death and treat it as such.
Well you don’t have to decline an invitation to a funeral. In fact I’ve never heard of anyone inviting anyone to a funeral. I have heard of them letting a person know when a funeral is, but never heard of being invited to one. So first off don’t decline it, just send either a card in the mail or write them back in the email expressing your sympathies for them and their family. That’s all you have to do, you don’t have to show up, just a few kind words can be comforting. You don’t have to mention that you won’t be attending the funeral. In fact I think it would be best if you didn’t email them back and just sent them a card or send some flowers to the funeral home. Your attendance is not required.
My advice: Write a letter of sympathy (not a card), recalling some of your better memories of the person who died. Express sorrow that your former friend is going through a difficult time. You don’t really have to mention the funeral one way or the other. An “invitation” to a funeral is really more like a notification that a person has died, for people who might have missed the obituary in the paper, or who live out of town. Most funerals I have attended have two parts. There’s the visitation held in a funeral home, where the deceased person’s family greet people who have a relationship with them or with the person who died. You go, sign the guest book, clasp the grieving person’s hands if you’re acquainted, say you’re sorry and the person will be missed, pass by the casket, and leave. It would be respectful of you to do that, but you can skip it if you really don’t want to go. (Sometimes this part of a funeral is omitted.) Then there’s often a service, which may take place in another
