How Do You Become An NFL Head Coach Overnight?
Why spend years toiling in Pop Warner, high school and college football when by taking a few shortcuts you can be the man in charge of a pro team overnight? Step 1 Make up a fake identity with an authoritative, football-coach-ish sounding name. Vince Shula should work, or maybe Chuck Lombardi. Step 2 Create a phony resume listing Notre Dame, Ohio State and the Pittsburgh Steelers as past employers. Use Steelers Coach Bill Cowher as a reference and hope like heck they don’t actually call him! Step 3 Come up with some terms to throw around that no one will understand in your interview process: “I’d install the fleagle defense immediately and would probably go with the gaffindish offense, at least on passing downs.” Hopefully they’ll think you’re a genius innovator and not just a nutcase. Step 4 Be willing to take whatever they’ll pay to start, and work that into your sales pitch: “Look-you need a coach you can afford and you need results, and I can fit at least half the bill there.” Step
