How Do You Arbitrate When Kids Are Fighting?
How do you arbitrate when kids are fighting. The easy thing to do is just send everyone to their room, but have you really solved the problem? Everyone is assigning blame, who do you believe, how do you get to the bottom of it? This is a teachable moment and it is important to take this opportunity to help kids understand how their own actions have contributed to the problem. Usually all parties share some responsibility in the matter. Use these steps to figure out what happened, and offer strategies for helping your children to avoid confrontations in the future. GET THE HISTORY – Always start with this question, “What was happening BEFORE the fight started?” NEVER ask, “Who started this?” or “Who did what to whom?” All you will get is finger pointing and “He did it!”, “No, she did it!” and you will get nowhere fast. You need to take them back to what was happening BEFORE the conflict started in order to see what the trigger points were. If the kids try to give accusations, “She took
