How do I stop being the friend, or Mr nice guy?
It sounds like you, like I did, have self esteem issues. The fact you feel you have to give people stuff in order to be their friend is saying that you feel that you don’t really deserve their friendship. You feel you have to buy it. You’ve probably been told either directly or indirectly by someone important in your life that you, that innermost part of you that’s the way you really think and feel about stuff, is not acceptable or is not worthy of love. That you are somehow defective or fundamentally different from others. Or that love had to be earned and was not given freely. But some good news. There’s not a special kind of person like this. You were born human and you’re very much like most other humans in terms of your needs and how you feel and react to things. The best thing for you to do is to find places where you can share your innermost thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement or criticism. This could be trusted friends, therapy or recovery groups. And you may be sur
