How Do I Make My Child Mentoring Efforts More Effective?
The only thing I can think of is to try to sit down one-on-one with her mom and explain how important it is to me that Sarah succeed in school You might make more headway if you sit down with the mother and explain to her how important it is to Sarah that she succeed in school rather than explaining how important it would be to you, and emphasize that you’d like to help her succeed. You might even consider speaking to Sarah’s teachers and figuring out exactly what Sarah has to do in order not to flunk and focus on that, especially if Sarah’s mother doesn’t like dealing with the school.
You seem to be well-meaning and genuinely caring, but you don’t stand much of a chance in changing this child’s mother or the situation. This is something teachers deal with on a daily basis. Indeed, it is one of the most frustrating aspects of being an educator. Mentoring was never meant to be a psuedo-parenting situation. I’m not sure how you got sucked into paying for a tutor but by doing so, in a way, you are acting in a codependent manner. The relationship between this parent and child is already cemented and probably unlikely to be affected by your suggestions to mom. Right now, you are trying to do what her parent should be doing. At some point (probably pretty soon) she will start to resent you as the person making her do all of the hard stuff. At some point, the child herself may take root and realize what she needs to do for herself. I repeat…for herself. Be there for her then. In the meantime, don’t abandon her but don’t try to compete in the fun department…what she prob
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