How Do I I Begin The Grieving Process?
The grieving process differs based on who we are, whom we have lost, and how much our day-to-day life is altered by the death. Although everyone experiences the grieving process differently, the grieving process tends to have seven distinct phases. Grieving Process – Phase I The grieving process usually begins once the person is informed of the death. During this phase, the person experiences a vast array of emotions – anger, sadness, shock, disbelief, etc. The first phase of the grieving process can last for several weeks. Grieving Process – Phase II After the initial reaction to the death, the numbness begins to wear off and the person may feel that the pain of the loss is nearly unbearable. Although many people may keep this painful feeling bottled up, it is best to express the pain. Hiding it and trying to “be strong” for others is not healthy. It’s best to find someone to talk to who can understand the emotions and pain. Seeking help from community resources for support is recomme
I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even begin to imagine how devastating it was (and is) for someone to lose a parent. It actually sounds like a good thing that that ‘psychologist’ didn’t see any reason for you and her to meet with anymore. I’m not a therapist myself, however, it doesn’t seem as though a nine year old wanting to start the grieving process should be discounted and recommended not to. Your dad sounds like he is in such deep pain and anguish as well and has pushed the loss out of his mind. You really do deserve, however, to be able to grieve your mother’s loss in a healthy way and be able to talk about happy memories that you have and that both you and your dad share about your mom. The compulsive eating is a symptom of your current difficulties and the food (or whatever substance that the person uses, in your case, food) helps one to ‘numb out’ instead of dealing with the powerful feelings of depression, lonliness and loss. It’s crucial that you talk with your dad abou
I’m so sorry for your great loss. The concept of time is something the ‘real world’ uses to mark events. In our minds, there is no time, it’s timeless inside there. So, whenever you decide to pause and think or dwell on the issues in your heart (sense of loss, sense of emptiness, confusion, anger, all that stuff), this occurs without the constraints of time. You can spend a little time here and there, and the positive effects will accumulate and progressively heal your pain. Your grieving is done on the inside, but you can use outside, physical things to help it along. You can create a ceremony, doing anything that has meaning for you, you can make up the actions that you want. Your subconscious will respond to your conscious mind’s leadership, and these behaviors (if you make a ceremony) will help it feel more real. Consider contacting a support group for folks who are grieving the loss of a loved one (yellow pages: counselors). Best wishes for deep lasting recovery from this pain and
