How do I help my husband to overcome his insecurities?
Men get their sense of self esteem from two areas, and only two. Career (symbolizing success in the struggle for survival) and sex (symbolizing success in the struggle for procreation). Everything else we do, we do to compensate for issues in these two areas. Both bring respect from our male peers, and both increase our attractiveness to our “relevant females”. If he lacks self esteem in any respect, that lack comes from his perception that he is not a success in either of these two areas (or both). If he feels threatened by you, it’s because he feels you are more successful than him in one or both areas as well. If you want to reassure him, don’t bother. It won’t help. It just makes it worse. To him, your reassurance would be from a strong person to a weaker one. That would just hurt his self-esteem, not help. That’s why you’re so frustrated when reassuring him doesn’t help. All those things he does for you, that make you feel special, and loved? Those things you appreciate and enjoy
