How do I deal with tremendous guilt & feeling undeserving?
The situation you describe is almost too enormous to comprehend. To get him and lose him at the very same moment is indescribably sad. Part of you may have wished you could have made up for a lifetime of not knowing him and him not knowing you in that one encounter. But of course, you couldn’t. And it’s not your fault. At least you know your guilt is anger turned inward. That’s a plus. What you can do with that knowledge to help yourself emotionally is another thing. I don’t have an answer for that. I wish I could be more help.
There is no point in feeling guilty or being angry with your self accept that there were unresolved issues between u and ur father and let it go all of the should haves would haves and could haves will never give you those chances back all you can do now is learn from it and try not to make the same mistakes again later on in life
