How do I curb obsessive hypothetical relationship thoughts?
I know what you mean — it’s can be a desperate, out-of-control feeling, and I don’t much like it either. I think it stems from the fact that, when you first meet someone, you don’t know them well at all and you can’t quite gauge whether they’re actually really into you, if you’re both on the same page, or if you’re on the verge of being dumped. And, well, it tends to go away over time precisely because you learn their feelings, how to read their body language, etc. You also establish trust and a deeper relationship ensues, which is not so easy to walk away from (hence, more security). I’ve had incredible success in my current (newish, 5 months) relationship with being much more of an open book than I would have in the past. If something is bugging me, I bring it up instead of keeping it in. Your constant e-mail/Facebook/chat monitoring is the result of you trying to collect information from every source possible except the one source that would likely give you the most information (th
Penchant – I think you need to re-examine the word obsessive and its terminology. We don’t just pick words out of the air. Apparently this *crush* has moved into the *I have to do/know/become or else I will go crazy* compulsive realm, which is an abnormality and in most if not all cases can be traced back to the original formation of primal attachment, pre-natal or post whether conscious or un – those primary relationships set down the blueprint for all relationships and the emotional responses they produce. The dictionary defines an obsession as: 1. Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety. 2. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion. An irrational preoccupation: fetish, fixation, mania. Informal thing. See concern/unconcern.
