How Do Children Cope with the Death of a Parent or Sibling?
When a sibling or parent dies, everyone in the family suffers. Very young children may not fully understand what has happened and that the death is permanent. Children feel many of the same feelings that adults do when someone dies: shock, sadness, or confusion. Children often personalize a death, asking, “Will it happen to me?” or “Did I cause this to happen to someone else?” A death can stir up fears: “Will I get cancer too?” or “Is it safe to drive?” A child may wonder how the death will alter his or her life: “Will Mom remarry now that Dad has died?” or “My brother died. Will we have to move?” Adjusting to the terminal illness or death of a loved one is a gradual process, according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, author of the landmark On Death and Dying (1969). When normal life (1) is disrupted, people first go through a stage of denial (2), acting as if nothing in their lives has changed. Denial may be followed by anger (3) at the unwanted changes, and by praying or bargaining (4) such
