How did Hillary Clinton Hocking American Idol Tickets for Cash?”
The other night, just before she went to bed (only to be rudely awakened shortly after at 3 a.m.), Hillary Clinton spent the evening frantically voting for Adam Lambert on American Idol.* (What? That “Mad World” really spoke to her.) As she hit send on her eighteenth text message, she realized something: People will do anything — especially if it is something small and inexpensive like an SMS — for that show. If she was voting eighteen times, surely there were some orangutans out there who were voting twice that. And then she had an idea: That’s how she would settle her campaign debt! All this time she’d been looking for the perfect way to lure all those fickle supporters who vote with their heartstrings — the ones who surged to her defense when she cried, and who voted for Scott on AI because he’s blind but not, you know, particularly blind-looking. She could raffle off American Idol tickets!! The next day, she instructed James Carville to call all the liberals in Hollywood and scare
