How can I stop being a snobbish jerk about music?
Nonrhetorically speaking, how old are you? I find that most music snobs just grow out of it sometime in their late twenties. If you’re younger than that, then I really wouldn’t worry about it. If you feel the need to speed up the process, I don’t think you should try and find an appreciation for music that you don’t like. Do you go around eating food that you don’t care for? Or wearing clothes that don’t flatter you? It’s perfectly okay to not be moved by any song, band, or genre of music. It’s your reaction to it that matters. Is the problem on some level that you think that your musical tastes make you cool, and that your boyfriend’s musical tastes make him uncool? Here is a paraphrased story that I read somewhere long ago that made me stop being so judgemental of what other people were listening to. The details might be wrong, but the basic gist is as follows: This story takes place along time ago. Screeching Weasel was playing a show somewhere, and it was either the end of the nigh
One thing that’s worth mentioning here that various people have been dancing around, but no one has come right out and said, is that there’s actually two separate (though not entirely unrelated) issues here: 1. You dislike music that your boyfriend likes. 2. You think less of your boyfriend as a person, because you consider your musical taste superior to his. When considering the advice given in this thread, take a moment to consider whether it addresses issue #1, issue #2, or both. (Maybe there is no single solution that addresses both; maybe you’ll need to use a combination of approaches.) But many of the suggestions given in this thread address only one issue or the other. Powerful Religious Baby’s suggestion (“learn to like it ironically”), for example, may help with issue #1, but it seems to me it would only make issue #2 even worse.
I’ve battled this same problem since I was 12 and made Johnny Rotten my personal role model. I’m not completely over it yet but I’m a lot better. The one thing that helped “cure” me was meeting people who DID have good taste in music in my estimation but turned out to be insufferable anyway (online dating is a great way to meet those people, by the way!) and realize that the people I love the most don’t always have the greatest taste and that’s okay. Don’t worry, you WILL mellow with age and you’re already a lot more mature about it than I was at 21.
Just a couple ideas: 1) Can you try to play any of the music (guitar, piano, etc.)? There are many pieces of music I did not appreciate until I tried to play them – you find the subtlety, difficulty, etc., and this can range from accoustics, guitar, etc. 2). Have the other person explain or tell you why they like that particular piece of music. I have found sometimes the person will point out lyrics, why the piece is important in a historical context, etc. Really helps me appreciate the music. 3). Many years ago, a music high school teacher told my class that if we found a piece of music funny or stupid – that was probably because we did not understand it. I still hold that point of view. I do not appreciate most country or opera, but I view it as a problem I have, not the music or the listeners who appreciate the music. Someday, if I study it and make the attempt to understand it, I can and will enjoy it. Finally, if you have an ipod on these long trips – and you are both ok with NPR
Consider satelite radio, you’ll never be without NPR. I can relate. My husband also loves the 90s male rock stuff. He also loves 80s metal. I can be quite intolerant in the car if I have to listen to this crap, I mean music. I can very much relate to yclipse’s comment. I try not to complain. I did vocalize my distaste when we first started dating years ago. That led to a road trip with my now husband listening to Metallica through headphones for a big chunk of the trip. These days I respect his likes and dislikes and we take turns listening to music. He will play a CD, I’ll play one, or even a couple songs each, or a CD we both enjoy. After all of these years I can appreciate Guns N’ Roses and Metallica — when I’m in the mood. Try to give him a break, if you’re critisizing his tastes, you’re critisizing him.
