How can I stop being a snobbish jerk about music?
Seconding the iPod on shuffle plus (limited) veto rights to the driver. That seems a workable system for any reasonable couple. If it’s late at night, I give the nod to the driver for whatever music keeps him/her awake and alert, as I value my life more than being cocooned in music that I happen to dig. Seriously, though: there are few things lamer than music snobbery. It’s an entire subculture where people trump up their overly-inflated egos by knowing what other, equally self-important snobs think is cool and dissing everything that isn’t. It’s not about quality. It’s not about sound aesthetic judgment. Music is a subjective preference. Arguing that someone’s music sucks is like arguing that someone’s favorite color isn’t what he or she says it is. I used to worry that what I liked might not be cool. Now I don’t. You know what? I’m able to enjoy a lot more things (but I always liked metal, so none of this would be an issue for me). I remember hurting a close friend back in high schoo
23skidoo, I’m 21, but I’d like to outgrow this *yesterday*. I recognize that dissing on others’ tunes is a dick move and I’d rather deal with the feelings behind it and become a bigger person than just shut up and think derogatory thoughts. myeviltwin, off the top of my head, some of his favorite bands are Counting Crows, Something Corporate, Goo Goo Dolls, Snow Patrol, Dashboard Confessional, Death Cab for Cutie, Dave Matthews Band, and a few others. He will listen to any “alternative music” radio station, as well. Among these bands, a few of them sing some songs I can enjoy. However, in general, the thing I find objectionable is the voices of the vocalists. In particular, the whining “emo voice” grates on my nerves to the point where I get pretty frantic – and that seems to be his favorite part about these bands, if you can believe it. I’m honestly just sick of Dave Matthews and Counting Crows…I was fine with them ten years ago or more, but they were overplayed on the radio station
my husband and I have strikingly different tastes in music but we’ve both opened up to each other about what we like in it. What we do now, is either listen to the music that we both like (a very small subset) or listen separately. And the reason is not because I think his music is crap. The music he likes is wonderfully narrative, with brilliant singing. The problem is, I find it too intense, not emotionally but senses-wise. I actually become uncomfortable physically if I have to listen to much of it. I think it’s possible he thinks my taste is crap, but he’s never said so. He just doesn’t find it appealing, and that’s okay with me. We don’t have to be OMG twins. So, don’t listen to the same stuff. Try silence. It’s nice.
While this may not be the best suggestion, you say that there is some of his stuff you can enjoy. What me and my SO do when we end up in a situation where he wants his music, but I can’t stand what he has, is that I’ll pick from whatever he has available. This works well enough for me, in that I can at least pick the most desirable item from the pack. However, since I carry around a 20 gig iPod, and listen to everything except most rap, the converse doesn’t always work in my favor. He will pick, say, Bjork, when I really want to listen to Miles Davis. When I know this is likely to happen, I make sure I pare down some of the stuff I know I probably won’t want to listen to on the iPod. Since you both have iPods, maybe you could try picking from playlists as well for a more specific selection. For instance, “Anything from the Techno Playlist,” can turn out agreeable, or “Something from the Mopey Rock ‘list would be great!
I’ve been married for 23 years to a woman whose taste in music is very divergent from mine. It can be done. We listen to music in different parts of the house, or at different times. I use headphones sometimes, though not often. There is a relatively small area of intersect, which I will use for certain times (meals and the like). Most importantly, I make no comments and she makes none. Well, almost none. For the most part, we agree to disagree.
