How can I find a dentist for my boyfriend who has no insurance and is terrified of dentists?
I know here in San Francisco there are some dentists who specialize in treating people who are phobic. Like this guy. Maybe they can recommend someone in your area, or if there’s a dental school where you are, maybe they can recommend someone. There are some dental specialties that have a psychological component, like TMD, and so people who treat these conditions might be more sensitive, innately. Also, you could call around to some mental health people in your area, like people who treat phobias, and ask if they can recommend some dentists who they’ve had success working with. You can also call around local dentists and explain the situation and see how you feel about their responses. The question of whether you can be with him to hold his hand is an excellent screener – ask and see how they respond. Having no insurance just means that you have to pay upfront. Most dentists would be delighted with this, and some may even offer a discou
I haven’t had dental insurance for the last seven years. I still go a couple times every year for cleanings. As long as I’m willing to whip out the checkbook at the end of the visit, no one cares if I have insurance. Now, if you’re looking for a dentist who would be willing to set up payments… well, that’s a different story. The only time I was able to do a payment plan was when I had an emergency wisdom tooth extraction, and that was with a dentist I had seen many times previously. I don’t think a chip counts as an emergency, but you may get lucky. The dental school thing SOUNDS like a good idea until you call for an appointment. In this area, anyway, they kind of laugh at you and offer up a free slot in 2007. See, Medicare and Medicaid don’t pay for dental, so everyone who has those two forms of insurance try to go to schools and clinics. They are VERY very busy. I can relate to the dental fear. However, there is a new trend in dental education that stresses pain free dentistry. I
I’d say I’m fairly similar to your boyfriend. When I was a kid, a few dental experiences were just awful, a dentist lost his patience with me due to novacaine simply not working when I was younger (my face would feel puffy, but not numb, it was odd). I also got a nasty flu from a dentist that worked on me while he was sick. So I avoided the dentist for like 15 years. Anyway, the key here is to ask around through every friend you got for the most caring, understanding, and patient dentist anyone knows. And when you find someone that everyone says is nice, on the first visit make a big deal about how stressful dentistry is to you. The last three dentists I’ve had have all been great and have gone the extra mile for me because I warned them upfront.
Also reassure your BF that modern dental anesthetics are outstandingly good. For some reason – mouth chemistry, the makeup of my porcelain – my teeth are a happy hunting ground for caries, but despite many, many fillings, more root canals than I care to remember, and a high sensitivity to pain, it’s been at least three decades since I’ve been seriously hurt by a dentist. Just make sure to tell the dentist you need more until you don’t. But get your BF there. Most importantly for the reasons in remlapm’s second graf, but also because you can end up needlessly losing teeth that could have been easily saved.
Dental phobia isn’t much different from fear of flying, whatever: agoraphobia, or the like. (Particularly because people always say “stop being scared and get over it!” as if that ever helped. Ahem. We know our phobias are unreasonable, but that doesn’t make the experience any less real.) 1. Noice-cancelling headphones with nice happy-making (or angry-making) music for use in the chair. 2. Don’t show up hungry or caffeinated. Edginess and blood sugar levels add to the anxiety and phobia. 3. In really advanced cases, you can do it just like they do it for flying: first step, a trip to the dentist, then back home. Second step: actually go in the office. Third step: Take a look at the dentist’s chair, panic, go home. Come back a week later. (For phobic flyers, the first step is a trip to the airport. Usually you don’t even go inside.) 4. Drugs, baby, drugs.
