How can an abused woman talk about her abuse or go for help? Won’t she be “airing her dirty laundry” in public?
As a small and historically vulnerable community, Jews are particularly concerned about their reputations, as well as the reputation of the Jewish community. This is often summed up by the Yiddish word “shonda” which means shame, scandal, disgrace… and a whole lot more. Exposing violence and misconduct is objectionable. Admitting to a failed marriage is often seen as abhorrent. Yet, the real “shonda” is the victimization of innocents and the failure of women and children—and sometimes men as well—to be protected and safe in their homes and relationships. The real “shonda” is not labeling abuse for what it is and allowing people to suffer in silence.
