Help with dealing with teacher and principal in elementary school, or am I just being a overbearing parent?
Good heavens, where are you? That is awful! I agree with patronuscharms that using humiliation as a teaching tool is abusive, absolutely. I’d be speaking to the school, too, if my kid’s teacher did that. Now, given the response you got from them, if you do decide to move her, I’d be very careful about checking out the discipline culture of wherever you’re going to put her. Also, I’d help her to understand that the teacher’s bullying behaviour is also not acceptable.
Do you know for a fact that your child is being singled out? If you can confirm that other kids in the class have received less strict penalties/public shaming than your child, then you should continue to try to have her moved. If you cannot confirm that she’s being singled out, then you need to drop it. My mom teaches elementary school, so I have as many years experience knowing how other elementary school teachers work as I am alive. For what it’s worth, this seems harsh to me, but not extreme or dangerous. I would only see it as a problem if she is the only one receiving this kind of attention. And it is very normal to have the “so-and-so was cheating, we all know not to cheat, right?” speech in the middle of class in front of everyone–at least in my experience. As you said, cheating is a BIG DEAL and she probably won’t do it again (even if it was unintentional), and neither will many of her classmates. In the meantime, explain to your kid that while technically she is breaking the
Independent of the teacher’s actions, the principal’s response of “why are you up here, you should be at home disciplining your child for cheating and not writing their name on their paper” is out of line. In general, I believe teachers need to know that the administration has their back, especially in terms of disciplinary issues. But that doesn’t mean that a legitimate grievance should be dismissed flippantly. Regardless of the exact course of action you take on this, I’d recommend that you begin documenting the interactions (dates, actors, what was said) as well as you can, and that you begin to communicate with the principal / teacher in writing (and, obviously, keep copies of what you send them). I’m sorry for your daughter. Being teased by peers can be damaging enough. Being humiliated by an adult who should be a trustworthy ally could have repercussions for a long time. I hope you’re able to help her find peace in this. Out of curiosity, is her homeroom/math teacher young? These
