Help! What can I do about an alcoholic husband who doesn think he has a problem?
My first husband was that way and he died from alcohol related problems. None of his friends or family would help me convince him he needed help because they all drank too. You need to have a strong support group and convince him he needs help or he could have the unfortunate untimely passing as my first husband did. Sounds like the drinking was part of the last straw. If you are trying to get out you can find pro bono attorneys. All attorneys are required to do so much pro bono work from what I understand. Since you were a stay at home wife and mother you should be able to get alimony also for a certain span of time, usually a year. Don’t ever feel like there isn’t a way out. Best of luck.
First of all you will need a lot less money than you think to get out. Secretly seek an appointment with a lawyer. There is free or reduced legal help in some places, just look for it. If he has supported you all these years, he will still have to, most likely. It is called alimony. You will also be entitled to child support. If someone can give you a place to stay for just a few months till all the court dealings are done, then you have a way out right now. I know that it will get worse if you do not get out. Please do not let your children go through anymore of this, it isn’t fair. It sounds like it has been bad for a long time. Why wait? It will be hard, but work hard and it will all work out. The state can also help pay for your education. No one wants to ask for help, but this is the exact situation why the programs are out there in the first place. When you apply for these things, have the mail for responses sent to your family members ( a trusted one). Start planning your exit n
I think his drinking is the least of your problems. The next time he “gets violent” with you or your son, CALL 911!! You cannot continue to allow this man to get away with beating you and his son! See, the big problem here is that you are teaching your son that it’s okay to hit women, because you’re not doing anything about it. By watching you and your husband, he is learning how life is. Do you want him to have THOSE values? I know it’s going to be difficult, because the finances are all in his name, but you need to contact an attorney right away. There are shelters for battered women that you can go to. The police can help you get in contact with them. The next time your husband tries to use you or your son for a punching bag, call the cops. While he is in jail, GET YOUR CHILDREN AND GET OUT OF THERE! The cops will help you get to a shelter, and they will give your husband a restraining order so that he cannot contact you or your kids once he gets out of jail. Most shelters are confi
It sounds to me it’s taken a turn for the worse but instead of saying get out, if you love your husband (which I’m sure you do) stay on his case about what he’s doing to himself and his family. It will be tough. Of course he thinks he doesnt have a problem but it hasnt set in yet. Give him a lil’ wake up to f**kin’ harsh reality call and leave for a lil’ bit. He’ll snap out of it and be calling you to come home and when he does, tell him you refuse to unless he agrees to seek help. I know you said you don’t have money or friends but gradually save up here and there and find a nice lil’ low key place to chill for awhile and in about a week or so, he’ll be asking you to come back but throw that ultimatum at him. Leave him no choice. Thats what its gonna take. Stand firm and make sure he sticks it out.
