Doesn’t the alienating parent realize how he/she is hurting the child?
Sadly, no. In the alienating parent’s mind, the soon-to-be ex-spouse just abandoned him/her. The parent is facing his or her biggest unresolved fears. Rather than face these fears, the alienating parent looks for someone to keep them away. A child is often accessible, available and a willing participant. While the alienating parent makes a conscious decision to say negative things about the child’s other parent in front of the child, the parent doesn’t stop to think what motivates his or her behavior. Nor is the parent conscious of the effect the behavior has on the child. The only thing the parent knows is that the old fears are back, and they feel bad. So the parent forces the child to fill a role designed to make the parent feel better. The parent is ruled by his or her emotions. He or she doesn’t have the emotional distance or level of consciousness to say, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” How can my child treat me so cruelly? The change in an alienated child’s behavior is often t
Sadly, no. In the alienating parent’s mind, the soon-to-be ex-spouse just abandoned him/her. The parent is facing his or her biggest unresolved fears. Rather than face these fears, the alienating parent looks for someone to keep them away. A child is often accessible, available and a willing participant. While the alienating parent makes a conscious decision to say negative things about the child’s other parent in front of the child, the parent doesn’t stop to think what motivates his or her behavior. Nor is the parent conscious of the effect the behavior has on the child. The only thing the parent knows is that the old fears are back, and they feel bad. So the parent forces the child to fill a role designed to make the parent feel better. The parent is ruled by his or her emotions. He or she doesn’t have the emotional distance or level of consciousness to say, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.
