Does online chemistry translate into physical chemistry?
It’s possible, but it has many traps one should be aware of. That’s not to say it can’t work, but to go in blind will gear you more towards a “miss”. Online chatting and email can create a false sense of intimacy. People become “head over heels” because of this, feeling a bond stronger than should exist at that time, and based only on a partial, idealized picture. Long-distance relationships are also problematic, as you don’t have the day-to-day. As such, on the rare occasions you see each other, it’s always a honeymoon period. Maintaining an in-person relationship on a day-to-day basis is not the same as late-night phone calls and giddy emails. Again, idealization comes into play. There are other flags, but those are the two biggies. Yes, I had a relationship involving both of those, and no, it didn’t go well, but it ate up a lot of time and energy. I’ve seen others in similar situations, few of which have ended happily. But as with all relationships, it depends on the people involved
I first “met” my partner at an online message board back in 1998. This was not any sort of dating site, it was a rough-and-tumble all-purpose board where opinionated gobshites like me thrived and the sort of people who love to whine about protocol on Metatalk experienced great and richly-deserved pain. This pretty accurately describes where I met my wife – on an Internet gaming message board filled with humorous assholes and a surprisingly high number of intelligent developers. It was also in ’98. The IRC channel that spawned somewhere off to the side of the site – almost exactly how #mefi/#tapes is off to the side of MeFi – is where I got to talking with her regularly. I did not at all believe she was a girl at first, based on the way she talked – she exhibited none of the usual bullshit female hangups. Then there came the big all-channel three-day meetup with people bussing in from Canada and flying in from both coasts. I met her, I liked her, I flirted with her in front of her boyfr
We met the first time when she was looking at colleges. We hit it off right away. We were in love for a year before we met, and when we finally did, it was perfect. Unfortunately, it didn’t end well… I’m a boring, work-obsessed stereotypical distant absent-minded bachelor, and she’s a somewhat wild, liberal bisexual. I think the internet’s interesting because it brings together people who might not necessarily otherwise get to know each other. Just keep in mind that if you wouldn’t have hooked up in real life, but did via the internet, you might still not have the connection that’s necessary for the relationship. Oh, but the sex was *great*. Interestingly enough, it’s about to happen again — someone that I’ve known online for 10 years is coming to visit next week from far, far away. I’m pretty sure she and I are gonna hit it off. We’ll see. And really, that’s all you can do.
I just met someone within the last month. We’d known each other for the last two years, and I’d liked him the whole time. But I’ve had a lot of bad relationships, and was just too chicken to say anything. Turns out, HE liked me too, and we started talking more seriously online. It progressed to the phone, and we had a lot of chemistry. So much so, that we actually talked about “the future” and whatnot. We had been speaking seriously for roughly 4 months when we met – and by that, I mean long phone calls daily, constant text messages and IM conversations. When I went to pick him up, I think alot of the initial nervousness was gone because I was told the wrong terminal and gate by the airport website. Quite honestly, I thought he looked a bit different than his photos, but it worked in his favor (my problem early on had been that he might have been TOO pretty and egotistical about it, if that makes any sense) – he looked more lowkey in person, and I was even more smitten. Yes, I said smi
