Does living into–or abdicating–certain roles define gender?
I so often hear people say, “Having a child was the most defining moment of my life.” That’s what I’m trying to capture in the poem—the question of, Who am I since I don’t have kids? But I guess the poem is more, Who am I not? There are some gender resonations in the poem, particularly when I say I’ll never be the queen commanding my subjects, and that my legs will always be less like my mother’s and more like my father’s. A woman who does not have children is looked upon in a suspect way in our society, to be sure. Our society tells people, especially women, that to have a child makes you complete. Being a mother is purported to be the quintessential womanly experience. All I know is that many women I see with small children are totally stressed-out. I think that’s an insanity in our society. We no longer have extended families that live together who can all take part in the raising of the kids and the tending to the old and infirm. Instead, women are having to juggle jobs, soccer gam
