Does counseling need to involve blaming parents or family dynamics for current problems?
The simple answer is, “No.” As human beings, most of us develop the capacity of making choices during childhood. As such, many life problems that we experience are purely the result of personal decisions based upon missing information, mis-information, or in some cases, mere human error. This is not meant to imply that our parents and families do not have an effect upon the development of our decision making process. They usually have a significant effect. Frequently, however, people find it easier to blame others rather than to take responsibility for their own behavior. Many parents have done the absolute best they knew how to do, with nothing but benevolent intent for their children based in love. But read on… Sadly, not all parents did their best, nor based their behavior in love. Some were inappropriately neglectful, including various degrees of abandonment. Some were criminally cruel. In these situations, children are affected in numerous ways, depending upon the degree of abus
The answer is an emphatic, “No!” Most of us develop the capacity of making choices during childhood. As such, many life problems that we experience are purely the result of personal decisions based upon missing information, mis-information, or in some cases, mere human error. This is not meant to imply that our parents and families do not have a profound effect upon the development of our decision-making process. They usually have a significant effect. Frequently, however, people find it easier to blame others using cognitive distortions such as rationalization and minimization rather than to take responsibility for their own behavior. Many parents have done the absolute best they knew how to do, with nothing but benevolent intent for their children based in love. But read on… Sadly, not all parents did their best, or based their behavior in love. Some were inappropriately neglectful, including various degrees of abandonment. Some were criminally cruel. In these situations, children
