Does A-Rod Swing “That Way”?
Once hammer-don’t-hurt-him time came, another festive onlooker was heard to mutter, “This is wrong! There was a thief crucified on his left side. Where is he?” Probably at the concession stand. And that was not the end of the Bible-icious thrills. There was the Garden Tomb replica, the Scriptorium Center for Antiquities, and the Edy’s ice cream served at the Royal Portico Eatery. And even more fun than the crucifixion was the gigantic whale you enter in the kiddie section—it’s their real Shamu show—while trying to stay as far away as possible from the large sphincter opening. In the mammal’s belly, an animated Christian octopus teaches you about Jonah, who floats around on his back as if in a heroin daze. Calamari’s never been so educational. But let me move on to the blasphemous thoughts of yet another friend of mine. (Gosh, I’m popular.) This one thinks A-Rod must be a gay-rod because, first of all, Madonna likes him; secondly, he said he favors female strippers who look like bodybui
