Does 50-50 Chore-Splitting an Equal Marriage Make?
Not long ago, I was doing the dishes and railing at my husband. I was holding forth on how important it is that we create deep, meaningful lives so that our nine-year-old daughter, Lillian, knows a spiritual way of living is possible and while I’m on the subject, it’s critical that Lillian see us as equal partners because … I was going full bore, barely pausing to breathe, when Christopher opened the fridge and asked, “Why can’t you be like other women and shop?” I laughed, he grinned, and we launched into making weekend plans, the intensity of my tirade forgotten. But later, lying in bed, I replayed his remark. There was a weariness under his playfulness. There was something about my vehemence, my insistence about creating meaning and how it was linked to being equal partners, that was tiring us both. Maybe that shouldn’t be a surprise, I thought. I’ve been insisting for a long time. We’ve both been self-employed most of our adult lives, Chris as a cinematographer and film teacher,
