Do people who grow up not knowing they are adopted have fear of abandonment?
Hi Melissa Swan, That thinking was often behind the reasoning AP’s would use for hiding the adoptive status from their adopted children. Not knowing offers the ILLUSION of kindness, as if the child will never be harmed by abandonment & a host of other adoption-related issues. In fact, it is actually a very cruel thing to do to another human being. They are not being allowed to process their reality accurately. Family secrets, however well-meaning, are toxic. They have a way of always getting out. Then it is many times worse on the adoptee when they find out they have been living a lie & those they have loved & trusted have betrayed them. It shatters their trust in other people, especially in their AP’s. Research any LDA site and you will see how devastating it is. Any benefit you may perceive you are doing by withholding an adoptee’s information from them, will be canceled out many times over by the damage done when they eventually realize the truth.
