Death and Burial: Is “stone setting” at the cemetery within a year after death is a Jewish tradition?
In the Torah, we read that Jacob set up a marker for Rachel (Genesis 35:20). This led to the practice whereby Jewish graves are marked with the name of the deceased. Note that there are no traditional words. The only things that tradition seems to have standardized upon is (1) Po niqbar (or the initials P”N) — Here is buried (2) The Jewish name (So-and-so bas [the daughter of] Father’s name); and (3) The hebrew letters TNTzB”H (Tehei Nafshah Tzoreres betzror HaChaim) — may her soul be bound in the bonds of [eternal] life. Beyond that, a complimentary epitaph is common. Naming family members is frequent, but not requisite. As always, this is a good area to consulting with a local rabbi on this: the rabbi can also serve as a third party so this doesn’t become a family issue, as well as helping the family at this time of loss. Rabban Gamaliel’s instructions for burial emphasized equality and simplicity (which is a hallmark of the Jewish burial customs); thus, large ornate stone markers
