Dating etiquette?
lunkfish, that sounds like my style of dating. get mixed up with people you like, drink and have fun and do stuff, and fun sometimes relationshippy things happen. it seems to get harder to do that as you get older though. It’s all good doing fun stuff and getting off with people, but a lot of girls will assume that you’re then going out. Going out with someone is a big deal and I find that a bit immature. Girls who date seem to know what they want more and are clear about when they’re ready to take it further. I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side though – wouldn’t want to give up drunken pulling.
Yeah don’t let her string you along past 3 dates without getting any ass. Wow. I’m so glad I haven’t followed that advice in my previous dating life. I would have missed out on some great relationships. My number one rule of dating is that everybody is different. Some people you date will assume that most members of their sex is substantially similar in their outlook towards dating. They’re wrong, and your past experience is probably proof of that, but they might be a little confused when you point it out.
Don’t overthink it man. I think the best way to meet people is to get out and do activities that interest you, or meet people through your friends. That way they already pass through a filter of sorts. The best “etiquette” is to be yourself. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, they’re going to find out everything about you anyway. Before I even went on the first date with my current girlfriend, I told her the most embarassing thing I could think of about myself. Good icebreaker. Good luck.
What lunkfish said. I think most Brits look at this quaint “dating” thing you nice American chaps do and we feel like we’re looking at an old movie. I’ve never had a “date” in my life and I wouldn’t have a clue how to go about getting such a thing even if I wanted to. You meet someone and you hit it off. Or you don’t. Maybe at work, maybe in a bar or club, maybe wherever. It’s just… life. Isn’t it? And if not why not? Ummm… but, yes, advice. I obviously would favour ditching all preconceived notions or concerns about “How often this, how many times before that?” etc and just meet people, talk to people, see how it goes. I’ve met women where sparks have flown instantly and we’ve been rutting the same day. I’ve had a serious relationship where I knew the woman for over two years before we even realised we fancied giving it a whirl. Just relax, be yourself and don’t analyse so much.
Your question reminded me of this post from Gawker today, about a new reality show following Internet-dating couples. Many of these dates seem to talk about the same, internerdy things. Everyone feels weird about putting pictures online. Everyone is horrified when someone doesn’t look as advertised. Everyone hates people who lie about their age. No one knows how soon, when dating someone from the web, is too soon for sex. Um, how about never? Clearly, you’re not the only person thinking about this.
