Dating etiquette?
Definitely what mischief stated. I met my current, and permanent, partner when I was 35, (she was 30). On our first “date” I thought of it as a platonic thing. We were exclusive from our second date onward. About the only “rule” I followed when I was dating, was that if I encountered someone who thought we were following some kind of structured path on rails, I jumped off of the ride almost immediately.
I have to disagree with geoff., respectfully. I’m a man and I am NEVER ready to have sex on the first date, even if she is, and three is pushing it as well. I guess I want to feel friendly with the person before I stick my dick in her. If we’re friends prior to any “dating” then yes, sex can happen a lot faster. But 3 dates = cocktease? That’s ridiculous. However, there may be some value in this perspective (depending on you, I guess). Speaking for myself, I want someone with a healthy sexual appetite, who’s comfortable about sex, and with whom I have some chemistry. If sparks start flying by date 3, maybe there’s something special there. But I wouldn’t despair after 5 or 6 dates if no sex had happened yet. The best sexual partners I’ve had have taken time to get to know. The thing with online dating is to know the difference between a 3-date acquaintance that you haven’t had sex with yet, and a 3-date acquaintance that you’ve got zero chemistry with. I once went to 6 dates before real
First off, to address the “three dates or she’s a cocktease” theory, I don’t really find the number of dates to be an issue at all in the sex department. Things happen when they happen and even when they happen early or late, they happen at their own pace, leading to either development or a denouement. It is, as mischief said above, largely about spontaneity. Dating doesn’t have to be nearly as much of a chore as people here and in the real world are making it out to be. Sure, it sucks to be alone. It sucks to have to continually restore your charisma back to default mode if it doesn’t work out with several women in a row. But you learn a lot along the way. In the end, the tropes of etiquette that are implied within the question aren’t nearly as important as being able to feel and function in the abstract. Particularly when both parties are being themselves and are naturally curious and comfortable with each other. That would be the ultimate gauge, I think. Being comfortable enough wit
As an English guy in my twenties, I’m quite jealous of the ‘dating’ thing, because it doesn’t seem to happen with me or people I know that much. People seem to meet at work, pick someone up in a bar, or simply get hammered and drunkenly grope each other. A lot of girls seem to either assume you’re together if you see each other a couple of times, or else are looking for players to chat them up. I like the idea that you can meet up with someone, maybe kiss or whatever, but it’s still part of the date and you could be dating other people. Seems like a more civilised way of doing things.
