Could my husband missing the birth of our first child cause bonding issues?
The baby will be just fine, as long as he is there as much as possible after. My husband was in the Navy for 5 years and he was on a nine month deployment while I was pregnant with our first baby and he missed the birth and the first five weeks. But once he got back he tried to spend as much time as possible with the baby. Now they have a great relationship and you would never know that he wasnt able to be there for the pregnancy or birth. Even if he is not able to be there longer than 5 weeks after the baby is born show the baby pictures, and if you can get video of your husband so the baby can hear his voice, and even have him talk to the baby on the video this will definitely help. Remember, he’s not going to be gone forever even though it seems like he will be. I totally understand and it’s a very rough thing to go through. I had a very hard time, but you will get through it just like I did, and if it doesnt break you it will only make you stronger.
I don’t think that simply missing the birth will cause issues. Bonding doesn’t happen all in one moment. It happens over time, as the child has physical and emotional needs that are met by their caretaker, over and over again, as they learn to trust that the needs will be met. It happens as the parent pushes through worry, exhaustion & discomfort, day after day, and is paid back with smiles, hugs, laughs and the fulfilling feelings of challenges faced & met. Whenever he does get to spend time with baby, let him be full on caretaker, making mistakes (just like you will at first) & learning from them, building his own relationship with the baby, bit by bit. That’s where the bonding is.
