Can someone suddely become a compulsive liar?
I don’t think i would…go ahead with this relationship. The fact that he’s been widowed only a short period ago, may have driven him to behave the way he did, but he’s originally a good person. However, having behaved this way, regardless of whether it was out of being a liar, or out of not being able to handle his late wife’s death…i don’t think you want to be with someone in that condition…stay friends, give him a shot at that, but, i would say break up with him, until you know for sure what’s really going on.
To answer your original question, no – somebody does not usually just “become” a compulsive liar. Often times they have already been telling lies for a long time. That comes from several personal experiences and a bit of my ‘once upon a time’ psychology major. The flip side – If he was indeed only widowed for 3 months rather than the 3 years that he originally stated, I am quite sure there were other issues at hand. I am sure he was being honest when he said that he felt guilt relating to falling in love again. This is so normal for those that have been widowed, especially if they had a really good marriage. The problem I see looking in from the outside is that your relationship with this man started off on the wrong foot. It was based on a lie. This really doesn’t fair well for the future. The fact that he was also seeing other women while he was seeing you, is concerning as well. Especially because he wasn’t honest with you about it and I am assuming that you thought your relationshi
It doesn’t matter how long he’s been lying. What matters is that he lied to you, KNOWING how betrayed you were by lies in the past. This is a big deal – a BIG deal, even if you had not been hurt by deceit in the past. No sane, mature woman should put up with this. This is a deal-breaker in terms of any couplehood. If you want to stick it out, you and he would have to get help in couples counseling, AND he would have to get help as a liar. It would be a life-long therapy exercise for him to stop. If he is in denial or offering excuses, he won’t change. There a few situations where I’d be so rigid, but this and domestic violence are two areas where I remain adamant. It is a complex psychological issue for someone to lie like that, and to lie without remorse except when caught out. Run from him. RUN.
