Can someone give me some real, hardcore constructive criticism?
In the second paragraph there could be a semi colon inserted that would make it a little better. I’m not going to tell you where since you’re so good at writing. You said that she jumped twice. The first time she just jumped and the second time she jumped off the wall. I would use a different word instead of jump for one of the two places that you used jumped. It makes the story less repetitive that way. ‘Actually’ should be capatilized, I think. I don’t know if this is hardcore or not. I’m not a published author or anything so take what you will and leave what you won’t.
Do you know, I liked that, and there’s not much to add in the way of criticism. In Ireland, originally the Faerie Folk were full-sized humans who did not age, discovered by the Celtic invaders in the dawn of history. There was a famous story of a king who had contact with them and knew their queen. He told of how beautiful she was, and how she had taken her people underground through a cave entrance. A generation later his son met her, and she looked exactly as she had in his father’s description, not aged one bit. So your idea of the faeries becoming full-sized humans could fit in very well with actual faerie lore.
