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Can anyone give me witty one-liners?

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Can anyone give me witty one-liners?

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it would help if you gave some vague idea of what the “situation” is, as the reply is relevant to that; i.e. is it a “situation” relating to problems at work, is it a “situation” regarding boyfriend/girlfriend; Without any knowledge of what it relates to, examples of one-liners are difficult. Try and be more specific and you may get some suggestions.

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