Are there contributions stepfathers and stepmothers can make to the family that the biological parents cannot?
“Absolutely. But they have to get there by establishing house rules, by respecting one another, by respecting the communication in the family. Kids are relatively easy to convince to follow rules. Children thrive on order and consistency. It’s the parents who have difficulty creating and enforcing order, which comes out of their insecurity as divorced parents. For instance, your stepchildren might invite their friends for dinner, and one of their jobs in the house may be to do the dishes. You might want to let the children off the hook for the evening, but it would be better for them to tell their friends, “Come over for dinner, but our job tonight is to load the dishwasher and our house rules say that when we have friends over they have to share our jobs.” In our experience, the kids and their friends will cooperate, and say things like, “Well, we’ll just get the dishes done faster.” • Do stepmothers and stepfathers equally seek therapy for step parenting? Do men and women respond dif
