Are Dogs Natural Landscapers?
Hypothesis: Dogs are natural landscapers. Introduction: A dog purchased against the better judgment of one of the observers was attached to a chain at the front of the house, allowing access to a cedar bush and a large expanse of lawn. No further instructions were given other than, “Stay outside, stupid dog, you’re driving me crazy.” Observation: The new dog immediately began landscaping by indiscriminately digging holes in the lawn and chewing all the branches off the cedar bush like a starving deer in the dead of winter. Within weeks, the area was unrecognizable. Conclusion: Dogs are natural landscapers. What dogs are not is smart enough to figure out how to untangle their chains from around the cedar trunk other than to bark that loud, irritating bark that causes the observer to storm out of the house in his pajamas to unwrap the stupid dog, swearing that, as God is his witness, he’s going to cut down that bloody cedar with a chain saw! NB: Conclusion may be biased, as the observer
