Can Homeless People Be Useful?
Definitely! While the government has not yet perfected techniques for training or otherwise domesticating the homeless, great strides have been made in putting the homeless to good use. Did you know that each adult homeless person contains enough carbon to make 885 pencils? Mead is working on a machine to do exactly that! The homeless are also quite edible and although few would choose to subsist on them they are proving a great boon to farmers who need feedstock for their animals. Some scientists are also currently working on a formula for refining homeless people into fuel oil. It is believed that each homeless person can provide enough crude to propel a Hummer 2 almost five yards!
