Why Pose As A Woman?
I’ve used femininesque-language in my life, but that’s because I had three sisters and no real male role model growing up. Hell, I did pretend to be a woman back in the early days of the internet, but that was to get more help from computer-savvy folk in the early days of me trying to figure out this net thang. And I do occasionally use a female avatar in games. Just because it looks prettier. J isn’t posing as a woman – J is just using gender-neutral terminology. Nowhere have you said that J is saying “I’m a woman” – J’s just not putting out any gender-specific indicators. Which rather implies that he thinks his gender is irrelevant to his chats. S doesn’t seem that bothered whether J is a man or woman – S’s just found a confidante in J that she can trust. And as long as they’re not planning to meet up or fall in love, I can’t really see a problem.
And I can’t for the life of me imagine why he would do this. I *think* he is heterosexual S feels safe revealing personal info, believing she’s chatting with another woman. Women are a mystery. Guys seek data to learn more about mysteries. The kind of girl-talk that is classified beyond guy-security-clearance probably seems like the mother lode. There are so many reasons why he might want to do this that it’s not worth scratching your head over. I’d just accidentally innocently let it slip out – if J comes up in conversation with S, phrase it along the lines of “I was talking to J and he said …. then he suggested”, etc. If she corrects you, or asks why you say “he”, then you’re clear to say “as far as I know, he’s a he, and I know him pretty well”. If J is being deliberately vague, you can’t be faulted for busting a misconception he ostensibly isn’t supporting. If she doesn’t pick up on it, leave it at that – it likely means that it doesn’t matter to her, or that she’ll think on it a
If your friend doesn’t intend to take the online relationship into the real world, and if it isn’t much of a relationship to begin with besides party chat, he probably isn’t doing much harm. But if he’s misleading someone who trusts him and confides in him particularly because he is misleading her, that, of course, is wrong, and his online character should evaporate or admit the truth. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t said he’s female; if she thinks he’s female and he knows it but omits to correct her perception and even encourages it, he’s purposely deceiving her. Why would he do it? There are many possibilities. Just for fun, I tried being a female a long time ago at a site I needed for just a short time. I used a goofy double-barreled name and tried to come across as a well-mannered, older (in online terms) woman having a safe laugh about things. I wasn’t acting any friendlier or politer than I usually act online, but I was trying to come across as a polite and friendly woman. The m
